A Cold Heart
by Kamui.a bad writer
Summary: Yaoi! This is a Yaoi story of Kamui (not from X/1999) and Force Kill. It's my first REAL story and I am actually RPing it online so I hope you enjoy it. Rated R for some language, lime and lemon. ^_~
1. Kamui

Kamui and Force   
Chapter 1, "...Kamui"  
  
He walked down the sidewalk looking off into space, seeming very pensive for someone who was going to a new school for the first time. Also the fact that he was going there on a Sunday of all days. He could see the large high school on the left side of the road up ahead but didn't seem to even notice it, out of the corner of his eye.   
Birds chirped almost happily in the background while a gentle wind tossed his hair over his shoulder. His long, dark, blue hair, which clashed with his pale skin, was almost shimmering in the mid-day sun that bathed him in its warmth.   
The thin material of his black muscle shirt felt like fire against his skin, warmed by the burning sunlight. His legs were going through the same torture, confined in his tight, black, denim pants. All at once he turned left on his heel onto the walkway that led to the front doors, now keeping his eyes on the ground since there were other students nearby. He seemed almost ashamed, afraid to look at them, like they were somehow better than he was. Out of the corner of his eye he could make out a large, beautiful flower garden. Several students were sitting against the tree trunks, watching the clouds, some even asleep among the beautiful flowers.   
Once he reached the main doors to the school he pushed open one with his right hand, otherwise not breaking pace. He walked inside slowly, letting the door slide closed by itself. The cool air conditioning felt wonderful on his skin, making him shudder slightly as he walked to the other side of the room to a stairwell and made his way up to where the dorms were.   
While exploring the halls as if looking for something, he came upon a group of people in the hallway. He made sure to keep his eyes on the ground as he passed by them, ignoring their conversation at the same time. He was just about to turn the corner when he heard someone behind him ask, "Excuse me, are you new here?" He stopped in mid-step and slowly turned to face the person, more or less glaring at him. He looked the person over and saw it was a young boy maybe 14 or 15 years of age. The boy had black hair that was about shoulder length and a pair of large glasses that seemed slightly too big for his small face.   
In response to the boys' earlier question he nodded his head yes slowly and turned to continue around the corner. However he was once again stopped in his tracks when the boy asked, "What is your' name?" This time without even turning back around he responded, "...Kamui," and walked around the corner without asking for the boys' name in return.  
  
Kamui had been walking through the halls for a good two minutes before he finally came across what he was looking for.  
"Dorm number 8." he said to himself as he stood before the wooden door, a small black sign with white letters labeled it as Dormitory #8. From his pocket, he took out a key he had been sent before arriving, and unlocked the door. He walked inside slowly to see that it was a large room, two twin-sized beds one on each side of the room, and a good-sized window between them on the back wall.   
Light poured in through the window onto the green carpet, making it warm to the touch. Kamui walked in slowly and shut the door behind him with a quick kick of his right foot. He walked over to the bed on his right, purple sheets and a dark blue comforter covering it. He fell down on it on his side gently, bouncing up and down from landing on the bed so suddenly. After he was still and relaxed for a moment he rolled onto his back and laced his fingers together under his head and on top of his pillow. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the sunlight coming through the window, as dust gently floated through the rays. For 10 hours you would have thought he was asleep if only his eyes had been shut.   
He laid there looking very calm and serene, staring blankly at the ceiling, very deep in thought. It was ten at night before any noise came to rouse Kamui as he laid there. There was now silvery moonlight dousing Kamui's dark clothing in its cool warmth. Kamui's pale skin seemed even more so as the moonlight passed over a cloud but then shadowed him for a moment.   
Suddenly the door to the dorm was opened and Kamui could hear some footsteps. He lifted his head slightly and looked to the door to locate the source of the noise that had roused him from his meditative peace. What he saw was a young man of maybe 18 or 20 years of age standing in the doorway. The strangers' silvery, white hair seemed to almost shimmer in the milky moonlight as it reflected off the floor onto his face.   
The intruder stared back at Kamui, his light blue eyes seemed to see through Kamui and into his soul as they continued their staring contest. Kamui noticed the stranger was very slim yet well toned and in his right hand was a large duffel bag, which he held by two black straps. They remained in this staring contest for only a few moments before Kamui laid back down and continued to stare at the ceiling again. He could hear the stranger close door behind himself and out of the corner of his eye he saw the man set his bag down at the foot of the other bed on the floor.   
"Who are you?" Kamui heard the man ask after he had sat down on the bed that he had apparently claimed for his own. 'Strange...' thought Kamui, '...so many seem to be interested in who I am today.'  
"...Kamui" He answered simply. He sat up and scooted back so that he was leaning against where the corner of the bed met the corner of the room.   
"I'm Force Kill." The stranger told him, watching him intently. Kamui nodded his head yes in response to Force. He folded his legs into "Indian style" and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, resting his chin in his hands. He stared forward at nothing in particular but his eyes seemed to be focused on the wall above the opposite bed and he saw that Force had laid down with his head on his pillow.   
Force was reading a magazine intently and seemed to be very absorbed in it. He had just started to turn the page when one of the pages fell out of the magazine and landed on the floor between the beds. Kamui's eyes had followed the page during its descent to the floor and he looked from it to Force, whom he saw was looking from the page to Kamui. Force looked anxious and almost embarrassed, Kamui didn't realize why until he looked back down at the page and saw what was on it.   
On the page was a manga picture of two men kissing each other very passionately and hugging each other close. Kamui looked back up at Force again and leaned forward slowly to retrieve the page for Force. He sat forward so he was still sitting on the bed yet his feet were now planted on the floor next to the bed. He leaned down and took the page in his right hand and held it back up to Force, their eyes meeting for a moment.  
"Thank you, Kamui." Force flashed him a half smile and snatched the page out of his hand quickly. He returned the page to the magazine and held it there with his thumb while returning to his "reading". Kamui leaned back and scooted back so his back was against the wall and he was facing Force. He brought his left knee up and bent his right leg on its side so it was going under his left leg.   
Kamui considered what he had just saw for a moment before finally asking, "Yaoi magazine?" Force looked up and looked at him, the pale skin on his face beginning to flush a beat red.  
"Yeah." Force responded weakly, as if he were nervous.   
Kamui considered this for a moment before asking, "Are you gay?"   
Force seemed slightly surprised by his question but quickly answered, "Yeah." Kamui nodded his head and then looked back at the wall, as if Force no longer existed. Force kept his eyes on Kamui for a few seconds before tilting his head slightly to the side in confusion. "Are you?" Force asked when Kamui seemed not at all bothered by his sexuality.   
"No..." Kamui answered, still keeping his eyes on the wall. Force nodded in response and laid back again, seemingly satisfied with Kamui's answer. Kamui however seemed to feel he had not told the whole truth and continued by saying, "...I'm Bisexual."   
Force seemed surprised yet again by Kamui and looked at him with a smile on his face. "Oh...really...?" Force half asked half stated as he closed the magazine and sat up on his bed. Kamui looked at Force, their eyes meeting and locking together for a moment, then looked down at the sheets he was sitting on. He seemed to be lost in thought but Force interrupted his thoughts by saying,   
"You look depressed…is something wrong?" Kamui shrugged his shoulders and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together in front of himself. Kamui thought to himself, 'Why does he seem so interested in finding out everything about me? Am I so fascinating?' Force sighed when he realized that was all he was going to get out of Kamui. He sat back against the opposite wall from Kamui and crossed his legs, swaying his right leg from side to side slowly and diligently taking in every detail of Kamui.   
"Kamui?" Force asked, as he looked Kamui up and down one more time.  
"Yes...?" Kamui kept his eyes lowered and his head hung while he waited for Force to ask him yet another question.  
"Do we have classes we are supposed to be at or something?"  
Kamui shook his head 'no' slowly and stated dryly, "Classes start tomorrow..." Kamui then leaned forward and reached under his bed with his right hand. He pulled out a large, one-inch thick, black journal with a metal cord spiraling through it as binding. He then sat back against the wall again and propped the journal up against his bent right leg. He pulled a black pen out of the binding of the journal and flipped it open to an unfinished poem. He then popped off the cap of the pen and pressed it firmly onto the other end, so he could write with it.   
Force watched him intently as Kamui tapped the end of the pen against the paper a few times before starting to write.'I can't escape it, it leaves me frail and worn, I can no longer take it, senses tattered and torn. Obsession's got me beat, hopeless surrender, admitting complete defeat.'   
Force tilted his head slightly as he watched Kamui write and asked, "What are you writing?" Kamui sighed, slightly in irritation and he set the pen down next to himself on the bed and tossed the journal, open to only the page he had been writing on, over onto Force's bed. Force looked from him to the journal and picked it up and held it in his lap with both hands. As he read through it his expression seemed to soften slightly and he looked slightly more depressed.   
He tossed the journal back to Kamui, who caught it in his right hand by the binding, and said, "It's really good, just kind of depressing I guess."Kamui couldn't tell if he should take that as a complement or an insult so he merely nodded in response (again) and set the journal down next to the pen. Force yawned and opened his mouth wide, covering it with his right hand until he moaned when he finished. "Well I guess I'll go to bed..."   
Force then tossed his shirt off himself and onto the floor at the foot of his bed and climbed under the covers, relaxing into the bed on his side. He laid so he was facing Kamui and smiled at him. "Goodnight Kamui." Kamui looked up at him, upon seeing him smiling he could not help the half smile that came over his lips.  
"Goodnight, Force." With that Force closed his eyes and in moments he was sound asleep. Kamui laid back down on his back and rested his head on the pillow once again. He sighed slowly as he stared at the ceiling and once again kept his eyes focused on it, unmoving. Force, while still asleep, pulled his pillow out from under his head and into his arms, hugging it tightly to his chest. Kamui noticed this out of the corner of his eye but paid it no mind. Force nuzzled the pillow slightly and whispered, "...Kam..." Upon hearing Force state the beginning of his name,   
Kamui looked sideways at Force without moving his head. He was very curious as to why Force would do such a thing, even when asleep he seemed to want to talk to him.   
Force curled his knees toward his chest and leans forward in his sleep, forcing the pillow to fall to the floor next to his bed. Kamui watched as the pillow fell out of his view of Force and saw that Force seemed to almost shiver once he had lost a hold of it. Kamui's right eye twitched slightly at the sight of this, almost as if wincing at the pain, it looked as if, Force was feeling.   
He sat up slowly and turned to face Force, lowering his eyes to the pillow laying on the ground against the bed. Kamui moved forward and kneeled down onto one knee, snatching up the pillow with his right hand. He then looked up at Force, who now seemed almost innocent as he sighed in his deep slumber, and lifted his head slightly. He then quickly slipped the pillow under his head and began to stand up. However, Force reached forward as if trying to hug his pillow and his arms instead found their way around Kamui's who was now no longer kneeling but not yet standing up.   
A slight look of surprise crossed Kamui's face as Force pulled himself close to Kamui, causing Kamui to give way toward him and lean against the bed. Force began to gently nuzzle Kamui's well toned abs and he sighed slowly in content as he whispered, "...Kamui."Kamui, after a moment in this awkward position, returned his face to it's emotionless look and looked down at Force.   
Kamui's expression softened slightly as he decided to give into Forces wishes. He leaned down, slid into the bed next to Force, and pulled the covers over Force but did not bother using them himself. Force responded by pulling himself closer to Kamui and snuggling into his chest, his hot breath warming Kamui's chest through his shirt. Kamui, being unsure of what to do with his hands, wrapped his arms around Force's waist in a gentle embrace and closed his eyes.   
Kamui was not tired but he slowly drifted off to sleep. 


	2. What is Love?

Chapter 2, What is love?  
  
Force was sitting in the classroom looking very bored, staring off into space. The room was a traditional college looking classroom with long "desks" running all the way across the room, a long aisle going up the middle of them. Force was sitting in the third row back, one seat in.   
The teacher was sitting at her desk in the front looking out at the students with her fingers laced together in front of her face.   
Suddenly Force perked up when he saw Kamui stumble into the classroom panting, sweat coating his face making his skin seem to gleam slightly. The teacher glanced sideways at Kamui as he entered and then turned her gaze back to the class as a whole. Force leaned forward on his arms and watched Kamui who was wiping his hair, which was matted to his forehead, out of his face and tucking it behind his right ear. Kamui was wearing the same looking attire he had the day before and in his right hand he was holding his black journal.   
Kamui looked up at the class and scanned for a free seat that was not near anyone. He saw there was a free space next to Force and figured he would actually rather sit next to him then by himself. He immediately started walking toward the aisle to get up to the seat, keeping his eyes on the carpet below his feet. Force looked up from Kamui to the teacher when he remembered they were having a discussion in the class, before he stopped paying attention.  
"What was the topic again?" Force asked, also trying to fill Kamui in on what they are doing in class right now. The teacher stayed stoic and said more to the entire class than Force,   
"The topic of discussion is love."  
"What about love?" asked a younger girl closer to the front of the room.  
"What do you think it is? How does it affect our lives?" the teacher asked bluntly.  
"Oh, Miss Jesse, may I step out to the washroom please?" asked a young boy sitting in the front row. Kamui glanced sideways at the boy and saw it was the same boy that had stopped him in the hallway the other day. Jesse nodded yes to the boy and said, "You may, Amphetamine." With that Amph stood up and walked out the door holding his stomach. Kamui glanced back at Amph once before he walked up next to where Force was sitting. He looked at Force and gestured to the seat next to Force with his left hand and asked, "Is this taken?"   
Force looked up at him and smiled, shaking his head no, "No..." Kamui took this as an invitation and sat down, sliding his feet in front of himself under the desk and setting down his journal on top of the desk. He then slid a black pen out of the coil binding and flipped the journal to a blank page. A student on the other side of the aisle from Kamui raised his hand to speak and the teacher pointed to him, indicating that he may speak.  
"Yes...Zekk."   
"Love is knowing that that person will always be there...no matter what, they can always put a smile on your face...and even after a fight, you can be laughing about it a few minutes later..." He stated all at once, "...love is the expression of need...the ultimate need for companionship." He then leaned back, seeming to wait for a response of any kind.   
"Well it's good there's at least one male in our school with a good idea of what love is." Jesse said, her mouth curving into a small smile. Kamui glanced sideways at Force and asked quietly, "Did you sleep well?" Force looked at Kamui sideways without turning his neck and answered in a whisper, "Yes..."   
Jesse folded her arms across her chest and looked up at Kamui and Force, looking slightly annoyed. "Kamui, do you have an opinion about the topic?"  
Kamui looked back at her again, his eyes locking with hers' in a kind of staring contest, since she seemed to be almost challenging him. He nodded his head yes slowly in response to her and sat back some, holding his left fist in his right hand gently. He rested his hands on the desktop, on top of his journal, and tried to think of how to begin voicing his view on the topic.   
All eyes in the room turned to look at Kamui since they did not see him nod to Jesse and they were waiting for him to speak.  
"Would you please voice your opinion to the class?" Jesse asked him, becoming slightly impatient with his silence.  
"Love is...when you feel compelled to be around someone, to please them, to make them happy...so much that you place their happiness above your own." Kamui told her, speaking loud enough for the entire class to hear him. He paused for a moment before speaking again, trying to collect his thoughts, "Yet some say love is always a wonderful thing. I however feel that love will almost inevitably bring about pain of one degree or another. It is never for certain and no amount of experience can prepare you for your' first, nor your' next love."   
A half smile crept over Jesse's lips as she listened to his response. Kamui however did not see this as he had lowered his head and was staring at the tabletop again.  
"Hmm...very good." Jesse responded and sat back more in her chair. Zekk then came in and said,   
"Love is the sole emotion of all...all other emotions spawn from it. With love comes hatred, side by side."  
"In some cases, from hatred can spawn a kind of passion from which love can flourish." Kamui added. He seemed compelled to add his opinion in where ever possible, since the class seemed impressed by his earlier answer.  
Apparently Force felt the same because he then he said, "Love is hard to tell sometimes though, you may think it's love but you soon find out different when your heart is broken and your forever scared…"  
"...yet it is still love, no matter how much it may hurt." Kamui looked at Force and, more or less, corrected him. 


End file.
